As a slender, twenty-something Kenyan woman navigating Nairobi's dating scene, I've come to a startling conclusion: our dating pool is murkier than the Nairobi River itself.

After being single for what feels like an eternity (including a regrettable episode with a married greyhead- thanks, daddy issues), I decided to brave the world of dating apps.

Spoiler alert: It only made me feel more single than ever.

The profiles I encountered were a parade of red billboards: "Casual and fun dates, intimacy without commitment..." Really, gentlemen?